


Hazy

by itsnoteasy_superwoman



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Implied/Referenced Cheating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-14
Updated: 2015-07-14
Packaged: 2018-04-09 06:46:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4338020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsnoteasy_superwoman/pseuds/itsnoteasy_superwoman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I watched you sleeping quietly in my bed<br/>You don’t know this now<br/>But there’s some things that need to be said<br/>And it’s all that I can hear and more than I can bear.”<br/>- Hazy (Rosi Golan)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hazy

**Author's Note:**

> Cross posted from tumblr ( I was really curious to see how everything worked on this site)

_“I watched you sleeping quietly in my bed_  
You don’t know this now  
But there’s some things that need to be said  
And it’s all that I can hear and more than I can bear.”

_Hazy (Rosi Golan)_

 

Kris tossed in his sleep mind reeling with nightmares of you leaving, always of you leaving, a repeating wheel of you finding out, tears filling your eyes, disbelief flooding your features, heartbreak causing you to sob as you grab your things, then you leave.

 Eyes opening wide he turns to find the time, the clock on the nightstand reads 3:10 A.M and he sighs pinching the bridge of his nose. The numbers start to mock him as they change ticking away time pointing out that it will be another sleepless night for him. Turning his back to the clock, he finds his face only inches away from yours; normally, the sight of your soft features illuminated by the moonlight filtering through the curtains would soothe him- not anymore. Not since, he broke his promise.

He watched you sleeping fearing he would never get the chance to do such a simple task again. Would you ever allow him to brush the hair from your face, or feel the warmth of your body so close to his? For that reason, he watched you and brushed fallen locks behind your ear; he basked in your radiating warmth and prayed that morning would never come. Prayed that the sun would not rise shining light onto his aberration; it had been a terrible mistake.  However, he did not have the strength of a Titan like Helios- not that a chariot of fire could save him from such a human plight.

Your eyelids twitched causing him to grimace, chest tightening, begging for more time. As if sensing his need, always willing to please, you complied- halting back into quiet rest. A breath he did not realize he was holding rushed past his parted lips, but the tightness did not fade- he didn’t mind. He deserved the discomfort and in a twisted way, it lessened the guilt or maybe, more likely, it simply overshadowed it. Either way he preferred the constricting band of stressful heartache to the gnawing teeth of guilt.

Instinctively you rolled toward him, face pressed against his shirt covered chest, hand clutching to the fabric at his waist. His neck bends, lips pressing lightly against your head as he takes in your scent- fresh like the air right before it rains, and the slightest hint of cinnamon. He nuzzles against you, nose tracing a soft line from the top of your head down to the start of your jaw and across to the corner of your lips. He knows his pushing his luck and if he keeps this up, he will wake you; a part of him is ready to get it over with.

A gentle ghost of a kiss pressed to the corner of your mouth before he is pulling you tightly against him. Needing to feel you, memorize the way you mold into him, every curve of your body pressing flush against his like you were made to fit against him, like puzzle pieces, like soul mates. The aching in his chest was more than he could bear, the fear settling into every cell was more than he could take, the sting of tears behind his eyes radiating sharp pain through his skull- it was all exactly what he deserved.

He waits, relishing in the contact of your skin against his, taking in as much as he can as he waits. Waiting for you to wake-up, waiting in nervous apprehension, waiting for the end; end of guilt, end of lies, end of the “us” you and he created. However, there is a budding hope planted in his heart that is nourished by memories created by the two of you and it whispers softly of the future, because with such a magnificent past how could there not be a future. Memories like flowers with roots and vines- glances across crowded rooms, dates and dinners, weekend get-a-ways, late night movies, and every first- intertwined and connect nourished with love. Could you sever all the roots and vines that connected him to you?

“Morning, babe.”

Your sleepy greeting catches him off guard causing his breath to hitch and his heart to stutter. More time, more time, he needed more time. He wasn’t ready he was terrified. “Is something wrong,” you questioned concerned by the panic in his eyes and the frown creasing his face. “I-,” he hesitates, and then clears his throat. He closes his eyes scrunching them painfully while pinching the bridge of his nose. He can feel you sitting up beside him the weight of your head leaving his chest as you release the fabric of his shirt. “Kris,” you question softly, gently encouraging. “I’m sorry,” he whispers, the words barely audible and laced with misery. “I’m so sorry.”

He opens his eyes just in time to watch you tilt your head a confused pout replacing your normal smile. It takes you awhile to reply, afraid of where this is going, terrified by what he has to be sorry for. Your head spins with possible explanations, none of them you want to hear. So you play it off, nudging him lightly against the shoulder because surely this all had to be a joke. “What do you have to be sorry for,” you questioned a slight tease to your voice as you force a smile. However, his sorrowful expression does not ease. Your smile quickly fades as you swallow the lump in your throat.

“I love you,” he murmured, “You know that, right?”

You nodded, “You remind me every day.”

He smiled at that, a soft barely noticeable turn of the lips, but it fades quickly.

“And you know that I would never want to hurt you, right?”

That is when you knew that it would hurt, knew there was no happy ending to this conversation.

“Kris, you’re scaring me,” you admitted sinking your teeth into your bottom lip.

He sighed, sad and long, bringing his hand up to rub across the crease of your brow, smoothing out the lines; before going lower, pressing his thumb to your bottom lip, pulling it away from your teeth.

“I’m sorry,” he told you again.

“Stop saying that,” you demanded, but there was no grit to your words.  “Just tell me why.”

He set up, placing his hand on the back of your neck to pull you closer. He pecked you lips once, then twice, then again getting more desperate each time. He rested his forehead against yours eyes closed, but you could not take your eyes off him.

“It was just one time,” he whispered.

You had never known such simple words could break your heart. You pulled away from him sharply, his touch suddenly feeling foreign. There was a tightness constricting your chest forcing you to gasp for each breath and you could already feel the dull ache behind your eyes from a buildup of tears. He looked hurt by your reaction but not surprised. Your mind reeled and before you were even sure what you were doing, you scrambled from the bed, putting more distance between yourself and the stranger before you; because Kris, your loving perfect boyfriend, would never hurt you- not like this. Kris followed your movements standing up, he reached his hand toward you but stop short of touching you.

“Please,” he begged, “just don’t leave.”

You scoffed. “Why should I stay,” you questioned bitterly, voice strained.

“It won’t happen again, I need you, jagiya. I’m sorry.”

It was not good enough and you were sick of hearing him apologize. How many times had he said he was sorry?

“Who was she,” you demanded, suddenly curious.

Was she prettier than you- smarter? Did they work together, or was it a random hook-up? You felt the need to know everything about this woman. What did she give him that you couldn’t? Had you done something wrong, something to make him stray? Mostly you just wanted to know why.

“I-,” he stuttered, confused by the interest afraid that the more you know the madder you would be. “I don’t really know I only met her the one time.”

One time, he met her once and that was enough for her to get him into bed. You gritted your teeth, all the hurt turning to anger.

“Was she good,” you questioned, scowl contorting your normally sweet features.

“Yes- I mean no!” His eyes widen as his mouth hung open.

You turned away from him, starting to pull your clothes from the dresser tossing them onto the bed. Kris watched in horror as you pulled a bag from the closet hurriedly packing your clothes.

“You know that’s not what I meant,” he rushed, desperate to take back that one word. Desperate to take back his actions- simply desperate.

“Jagiya, please,” he mumbled pulling on your arms until your movements stilled against his chest. 

“Why? Why did you do it,” you questioned, the tear finally falling and you were glad you were facing away from him.

“I don’t know, it was a mistake,” he whispered miserably as he nuzzled his face into your neck.

You jerked out of his grip, zipping up your bag before picking it up and heading out the door, not bothering to change out of your pajama pants and a tank top.

“How can you expect me to stay if you can’t even tell me why,” you utter hotly. “And if you honestly don’t know why, then how can you be sure you won’t let it happen again?”

You did not wait for him to respond, just headed for the door, wanting as much distance as you could get between him and you before you completely broke down. He watched you leave, your words playing on repeat in his mind, he didn’t have an answer, he didn’t know, but he vowed to find one for you.


End file.
